i know it doesn’t look intentional, but trust me, it was.
how do you put together a halloween costume for less than $4 and garner more attention than any sexy-fill-in-the-blank costume? buy some poster board, break out the good penmanship, and dress as the great equalizer: a bottle of jameson.
seriously, who can’t come together over this sweet, triple-distilled irish whiskey goodness of the people?
nobody. that’s who.
and in case you were wondering, 2 days of raw veggies, followed by 2 days juice cleansing, then back to 2 days of raw veggies is pretty much what dante was describing as the ninth circle of hell. the sheer lack of taste in anything that falls within the guidelines is enough to drive a person mad, but it’s really the array of emotions experienced that makes going on a cleanse just the absolute worst.
day 1: hopeful, borderline excited
later that day: ragingly annoyed
day 2: murderous
day 3: delusional
day 4: empty, maybe a bit dramatic
day 5: back to raw veggies? meh.
day 6: so over it
[i may have used this gif in a previous post, but let’s face it, when does it not apply…]
day 7, midnight: positively euphoric
there are people who will tell you that cleanses make you feel amazing. like you’ve hit the proverbial reset button on your body, and that if you can persevere, it’ll all be worth it. these people are lying to you and want to see you suffer. happiness is a loaded baked potato and a diet coke, not juice with freakin’ kale in it.
and for all those exposed to me while on this six-day rampage…